Transcript of Episode 280: The Boost Button For Dog Training Happiness: Activate Your Mind’s Superpowers

Speaker Key

SG Susan Garrett

Transcript

00:00:00

Imagine if there was a booster button for your dog training skills. Imagine if there was a booster button that could suddenly turn your dog into like a superhero or give your dog superhero powers or give you the ability to have that superpower in anything you wanted to do regards to dog training.

What if that was possible? Guess what? I believe I've got that booster button for you. And in today's episode, I'm going to share with you how you can activate it.

00:00:44

Hi, I'm Susan Garrett. Welcome to Shaped by Dog. I know, kind of a corny and a real overpromise to start this episode, isn't it? But I really believe that I can help you get that booster button. Get that ability to know you can do this.

Now, today's episode is particularly important for those of you who are relatively new to dog ownership, or you have a brand-new puppy. Maybe you're not new to owning a dog, but you haven't had a new puppy for a long time, if ever, or you have a brand-new rescue dog. 

00:01:17

Or you're in the midst of a challenge that you're trying to overcome and you're a little bit frustrated with, or you're trying to learn a new sport with your dog or a new skill with your dog. If any of those scenarios describe you, then today is particularly important for you.

Because today I'm going to share with you how your approach, your thoughts can alter the ability to overcome any challenge that you have with your dog. Recently, I was listening to a friend's podcast. My friend's name is Simon Bowen, and his podcast is The Wisdom Of. 

00:01:53

And he was talking about being present to your presence. And I'm like, “Oh, Simon, that's genius. That is perfect for everybody who owns a dog.” Because your presence is how you show up to people and how you show up to your dog.

It could be things that you don't even realize has an impact on your dog. It could be things like, your dog has done something, and you have this deep sigh like “Not again. Oh, really? I can't believe it. Why did I get saddled with a dog like you?” 

00:02:24

It's the way that it changes your breathing. It's the way it changes your emotional state. You might go from happy go lucky to a little bit frustrated or triggered or angered or worse. All of that is absorbed by your dog. For me, I know when I get excited and I get talking about something I feel passionate about, just that can get the dogs in my house start circling and going, “What's going on?” The energy has changed.

Our dogs are so perceptive about that. So, what is the presence that you bring into a room with other people? If everything doesn't go exactly your way, how does that change your presence and what is the impact that that has on other people? I promise that, that impact is going to be felt by your dog.

00:03:15

And so, being present when you go to train your dog. Who is showing up for your dog? Who are you? Because I've spoken about the belief loop so many times on this podcast and I'm going to do it one more, your belief about your dog, about yourself, about your circumstance, about what you're trying to train.

Your belief impacts the thoughts you're having at that moment. And the thoughts you have then, establishes your emotional state. So, if you're working on a challenge, as we all have to when we own a dog, it could be something as simple as “My dog continues to pee in the house.” Or it could be something a little more ambitious, like I really want to teach my dog to do a running contact for the sport of dog agility. 

00:04:03

Either one of those scenarios, there's going to be some level of challenge for you, for difficulty, for things not going the way you want them to. Now what does that do for the thoughts in your head? “Why did I get this dog?” “Maybe this isn't the right dog for me.” “I can't believe this dog did it again. I don't know if we're ever going to get this.”

“Why does this always happen to me? Why can't I just once have it in an easy way?” These thoughts, what do they do for your emotional state? Do they make you happy and joyful and positive and fill you with possibilities for the future? Not likely, right? Quite the opposite. 

00:04:41

They get you heavy. They get you into what is referred to as a lower vibrational state. For a good reason you might want to Google that. They get you to a darker place where your emotions then are going to have a massive impact on your actions.

So, if I was trying to train a dog and I'm in a state where I'm curious and I'm grateful for the opportunity to squeeze some time out of my day to be able to train and something goes wrong, then that curiosity, I'm not saying that I'm never going to go, “Wow, I can't believe that happened.” But I know immediately the solution is found somewhere in the problem. 

00:05:19

And that gives me a lot of encouragement. So, what are the emotions that you're feeling? And I want to go back to being present to your presence, because those emotions are felt by how you're talking about your dog, not only to your dog, but about your dog.

So, those emotions act on your actions, the kind of you know, how willing are you going to be to try again or again and again with your dog? You're going to give up and pack it in, or you're going to get mad and try to short circuit something till it just works for you. And that's going to give you outcomes that's going to create new beliefs about your dog. 

00:05:54

And that's loop just keeps going on and on and on. Now think about how you talk about, not to your dog, that's talking to your dog in the midst of training. How do you talk about your dog? And it's super important how you talk about your dog to your family, to your friends, to the people who are supporting you.

Maybe you got your dog from a breeder. How do you talk about that puppy or dog to your breeder or to your coach who's trying to instruct you or to the person who helped guide you to this particular puppy?

00:06:27

Because how you speak about that puppy or that dog now affects them. It becomes a burden to them because they might feel now the emotional toll of ‘Oh my gosh, maybe I shouldn't have got them that dog.’, or ‘Maybe I shouldn't have helped them get that dog.’, or ‘Oh my gosh, maybe I shouldn't have sold them that puppy.’, or ‘Oh my gosh, I feel sorry for that puppy.’

You're changing the emotional state of the person by the words you're using to talk about your dog. And guess what? We all are going to have challenges with our puppy. Here's one exercise, exercise number one that I suggest. 

00:07:01

Whenever you're in a place where you can feel your emotions going in a direction you don't want them to go, it could be in the midst of training, it could be in the midst of a conversation. Conversation, this might be a little more difficult, but you know, if it's a conversation with family and friends, why not? I want you to do two things.

Number one, think of, or tell the people all the things you love about your dog right now. “Oh, you know what? Last night he got a bone, and he started rolling around. It was so funny. We were all in stitches. That dog just cracks me up.” Think about, keep listing them. I like to put my hands on my heart, think about all the things I love about that dog. 

00:07:37

Anything that has happened in the past, anything, like what is the emotion I feel when I think about that dog, when I'm away from the dog. Next two-part exercise. The next is what are all the things you're grateful for in this moment? It's impossible to not change your emotional state if you practice that little exercise.

And what we all should strive for is the emotional regulation that we can feel, “Oh, this isn't going the way I wanted it to.” But know how our emotions guide our next actions and then our outcomes realizing how important that emotional regulation is, what is the way we can get back and that little exercise I think is a great way to get back on track so that you can be in a better state so that you can take different actions so you can get better outcomes. 

00:08:29

You've heard about self-talk, right? That's the conversation, the dialogue that sometimes happens in your head and sometimes happens out loud when no one else is around. And that might be things, unfortunately, people might say, “Oh, Bob, how can you be so stupid.” if your name is Bob. I wouldn't even allow myself to call myself any kind of derogatory name.

So, if I'm going to give you an example, I'm going to change the name of the person. So, when things don't go the way you say, “Well, why does this happen?” No, this is self-talk that doesn't take you to a good place. So, altering the way you talk about yourself, step number one. Altering the way you talk about your dog. 

00:09:08

So, let's call it self-talk and pup-talk. Those are the two things we need to improve upon because you are going to create a drama filled life that is going to get people at an arm's distance, especially people who are involved with your dog at some point. Think about social media just for a minute, because I know it's a little painful to go there. Drama gets all kinds of attention, doesn't it?

00:09:33

So, when you say things like, “Oh, my dog just doesn't do what he's told.”, or “Oh my dog, I'm at my wits end, I don't know what to do.” You're probably going to get a lot of people going, “Oh, it's okay. What can I do to help you?” “Oh, do you want to have some cupcakes? Oh my gosh.”

You're going to get that attention. You've got to stop craving that negative attention and take that and turn it on itself. Things aren't going great. Okay. How can I be present to my presence that I'm showing up to my dog and to the people in my life? And how can I turn that into a state of what's possible? 

00:10:07

A state of yes. A state of ‘what's next?’ A state of ‘what can I do now?’ Now, if you're a person listening to this and you don't have a great deal of experience training dogs, then it could be frustrating. That's why I encourage you to find yourself a mentor, somebody who you deeply believe in the methodologies and how they train dogs. And that methodology aligns with your core values.

And then you seek out help from that mentor, either by joining in one of their programs, either in person, or there's so many online programs today. Or doing something like coming over to my YouTube channel. If you're listening to this podcast, chances are that you've decided that you do resonate with some of the things that I'm talking about. 

00:10:53

Jump over to my YouTube channel. There's so many amazing playlists. One on puppy, one on getting a new dog, one on how to get my dog to not pull on a leash. You name it, there's going to be a playlist there that should give you some hope.

But honestly, your knowledge is what's holding your puppy or dog back. I have something that's on my coffee cup that I look at every morning and that says, ‘The more I learn, the smarter my dog appears.’ I'm always curious. I'm always seeking to learn. That is going to alter your self-talk because you're going to be talking in possibilities. 

00:11:31

And if you're not doing it already, think of something you can do daily that can change the way you talk about yourself and your dog. Maybe it's daily affirmations. Maybe it's listening to a motivational video. There's so many of them on YouTube.

Maybe it's having a book that you just read one passage that sets your soul on fire every morning to start your day. Maybe it's a way that when you're feeling a little bit dysregulated in your emotions, you can go to this affirmation that tells you ‘No matter what happens, I know tomorrow I'll be smarter, and I'll be better than I am today.’ 

00:12:08

Just saying one thing like that, create a future that's different than your past. Create a future that is filled with what's possible for you and your dog. I think the three biggest gifts we can give to our dogs and to the people of our life, and in turn, I think these are the three biggest gifts we can give to the world.

Number one, is just obviously love. Number two is constant curiosity. And number three is gratitude. I think those are huge gifts that when we send them out into the world, they can't help but come right back to us. And even if that is just an intentional daily thought for you, it will help take you to a better place.

00:12:51

And then of course, you've got to train the dog. You've got to move forward. You're not going to change what you've got by complaining about what you've got. You're going to change what you've got by having a strategic plan.

Now, for those of you who are in any of my online classes, we give you that strategic plan and we coach you through those plans. But some of you aren't in my classes. And so, what does that look like? It starts with data collection. 

00:13:17

By taking a journal and writing down everything you see right now and what you want to change and knowing where you want to go, what outcomes you want. And now you've got concrete things.

‘I know what I've got. I know what I want. I know where I want to be.’ So now we just plan, we create a step-by-step plan to get us from here to there.

But it doesn't happen without you rolling up your sleeves and getting it done, which is why I encourage you to have a dog training plan that involves games that you're going to love to play and that your dog's going to love to play. 

00:13:49

But whatever it's going to take, you've got to take action. And it's got to be intentional, strategic, and creating outcomes that move you forward. You can't just practice to practice. You've got to practice, to take you somewhere.

I practice, to create the best life possible for my dog. So, I don't just say, “Oh, my puppy's five months old. I should be doing something with him.”

Heck no, I'm going to be doing the things that lead me to the outcomes that I want so that my dog can live an amazing life. It's intentional. I'm always present to what I've got and where I want to be. I'm going to leave you with this poem that I found, and it is an amazing poem. 

00:14:28

I found it on a website called The Strangest Loop, and it's very difficult to find out who wrote this, but I think it's a fellow by the name of Gareth Evans, but don't hold me to that. Alright. It's called Do The Thing. Preparing to do the thing isn't doing the thing. Let's talk about dog training here.

Yeah, we got to do a lot of preparing, but that's not doing the thing. Scheduling time to do the thing. Yeah, that's good, but it's still not doing the thing. Making a to do list to do the thing. That isn't doing the thing. Telling people you're going to do the thing. That's still not doing the thing. 

00:15:01

Messaging friends who may or may not be doing the thing. That's still not doing the thing. Writing a banger tweet about how you're going to go and do the thing. That's not doing the thing. Hating on yourself for not doing the thing. That's not doing the thing.

Hating on other people who've done the thing isn't doing the thing. Hating on the obstacles in the way of you doing the thing, it's still not doing the thing. Fantasizing about all the adoration that people are going to give you once you do the thing. That's not doing the thing. Reading about how to do the thing, that's not doing the thing. Reading about how other people did the thing isn't doing the thing. Reading the essay isn't doing the thing.

00:15:49

The only thing that is doing the thing is just doing the thing. So, my friends, go and do the thing. The thing is dog training. Yes, we've got to do some planning. Yes, we've got to do some to do lists. But don't spend hours and days. Always start with a thought ‘What's a fun game I can play with my dog?’ Go and train your dog, then go and collect some data.

What did you learn from that experience of doing the thing? Now, you can plan for the next time you're going to do the thing. And you're going to be intentional and set an appointment with yourself about how to do the thing. 

00:16:22 

And you're going to know when things don't go well when you're trying to do the thing, you're not going to write on Facebook or whatever social media like, ‘woe is me.’ You're not going to call up your friends and say all the things why your dog is not the dog you thought you were going to get.

You're going to ignore all that because all of that is obstacles put in your way of doing the thing. Gather it out of the way, get the mindset out of the way, inject yourself with daily positivity so that you, my friend, will be doing the thing daily. 

00:16:55 

I hope this makes sense to you. And I hope you listen to this podcast, and you go out and you do the thing. And come back here and leave me a comment. Let me know how it went. I'll see you next time right here on Shaped by Dog.